There are too many women who waste weeks, months, even years of their lives settling for a man who does not treat them the way they deserve to be treated. While it can be hard to tell when this describes your dating life, the best way to determine if a man is “all in” with your relationship is to take a look at his level of effort.

A man should always be attentive and dependable and be willing to put in the work for his girl. He may not be perfect, but you can always tell when a man is ‘trying’ versus when he is ‘coasting’. 

There are too many instances where you may settle for a man that doesn’t appreciate you. And a woman should never have to feel unappreciated or undervalued.

So, if you are looking to get serious with someone but your past suitors have been a joke, here are some things to keep in mind so that you never settle again.

You’re nobody’s ‘backup plan’.

You shouldn’t have to constantly be adjusting your schedule to be available for him when it turns out his buddies are busy.

No one wants to be the girl sitting at home staring at her phone all night. And if you allow this behavior to be acceptable, he will see no reason to change it.

You don’t exist to boost his ego. 

There are some boys that will keep girls around or keep talking to them just because they make them feel good. He will look to you for compliments and for reassurance when his self-esteem takes a hit, but he never returns the favor.

This kind of emotional support should always be a two-way street. It can be incredibly draining to be responsible for constantly feeding someone’s ego. If he is only looking for you to be his ‘pick-me-up,’ it’s time to put him down.

You’re so much more than your body. 

If he calls you SOLELY to fill some kind of physical need and you’re looking for the real deal, block his number. That is not all you have to offer and anyone that makes you feel like it is — is doing you a huge disservice.

You are so much more than what you look like, and someone that truly values you will understand and appreciate the other elements of a relationship with you.

You’re no opening act- you’re the main event.

There are so many boys that are looking for ways to play the field without committing. They find a way to make you care, and then you’re hooked because they know you are emotionally invested. This can be so hard to distance yourself from, especially if you have hope that he will change.

But don’t allow caring for him to take priority over caring for yourself. Don’t allow him to think that he can treat you as anything less than what you are. You are worthy of love and you deserve someone that knows that.

So remember these things when you feel tempted to settle for second best.

Because when you love with your whole heart, you need someone that can keep up with that.

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