Photo by Courtney Clayton on Unsplash

I was bitter for so long. 

You broke me, and you walked away without so much as a backward glance. You made me feel disposable, and you gave me a new ache to carry around in my soul.

I spent so much time being mad at you. You were so selfish and reckless with my already vulnerable heart.

You ruined everything that we had, tarnished all of the memories we made, and threw away our potential.

There are places that I can’t go anymore because they remind me of you. There are songs I can’t listen to because they transport me back to a more painful time when you and I were invincible.

But, through all of this anger, I have finally realized something. You stole my heart when you left, but I let you have my spirit.

And, I’ve decided to take it all back. 

I’m taking back my heart because, even with its rough edges, it is deserving of an intense love.

Just because you couldn’t love me doesn’t mean that no one else will. And, just because I was broken by the abruptness of our chapter ending, that doesn’t mean that I don’t have the strength to flip to the next page.

I’m taking back my spirit because I have become a version of myself I don’t recognize anymore. My heartbreak made me into a shell of the woman I know that I am.

I will never let someone minimize me like that again.

All this time, I have been waiting for some kind of change that would make this all go away when I’m supposed to be that change for myself.

So, I’m moving on, and I am accepting the things that I can’t change.

accept that you weren’t ready to be what I wanted, but it’s time for me to be what I need.

accept that the heartbreak you inflicted made me into someone else, but it’s time for me to stop blaming you for all of the rage and bitterness I desperately held onto long after you were gone.

Because you may have broken my heart, but I took the sledgehammer from you and finished the job of crushing my spirit.

I held onto the pain and let it brew in my soul until the bitterness took over my being. And, for that, I can only blame myself.

So, I’ve learned to forgive myself for losing sight of the strength that’s been hiding underneath the pain.

And, I’ve learned to forgive you and accept that I can’t make the right love work for the wrong man.

So, don’t worry. I accept the apologies you’ll never give me. 

And, I’m doing this for me. It’s time for me to move forward, and I’m sorry that it took me this long to figure out.

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